A Resolution
by fphp
Summary: Neela decides that it's time to tell Ray how she really feels, she just doesn't know how.
1. Chapter 1

_Notes: Hi! Thanks for reading. The song is "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morissette. This first chapter is a songfic, but I don't think the other ones will be._

_Disclaimer: I don't own ER, Ray, Neela, Alanis Morissette or her songs, Celebrity Poker Tournament, or anything else even remotely related to ER._

"Neela? Neela!" Abby said forcefully as she was getting ready to leave to pick up Joe from the babysitter's.

"What…oh, uh sorry Abby, I was just…" Neela replied with a slightly dazed look on her face. She didn't want to finish the sentence, but she had been thinking about her resolution to tell Ray how she really felt. Neela had lain awake all night imagining how she should go about telling him…_I love you, Ray_…_I've loved you for a long time_…_I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, and I hope you can forgive me_…the list went on and on.

"Is everything okay, Neela?" Abby looked at Neela with a slightly worried look on her face.

"Yeah, everything's fine, thanks." Neela said almost too quickly.

"Alright, well, I just wanted to make sure it was still okay to leave Joe with you tomorrow night. Luka and I have been planning this dinner for a month, and the babysitter calls me _today_ to tell me she can't do it," Abby said while rolling her eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Abby. I think Joe and I will have lots of fun snuggling on the couch and watching Celebrity Poker Tournament together," Neela said with a grin.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Neela had just finished another surgical consult and was heading toward the stairs when she heard a familiar voice call her name from the admit desk.

"Neela! Do you think I could catch a ride with you after your shift is over? My car's in the shop and its gotta be minus 20 degrees outside." Ray gave Neela a pleading look—it reminded her of a puppy she'd seen in an alley when she was younger.

"Um sure, I get off at 7 so I'll meet you in the break room. Is that okay?" Neela replied with a slightly nervous look.

"Yeah, that's great. I owe you, Neela!" Ray yelled as he ran toward the ambulance bay for an incoming trauma.

_Alright, I can do this. I'll just_…she couldn't find any words to describe exactly what she was going to do. _Why am I so nervous?_ Neela chided herself. She had been too afraid, too guilt-ridden to admit her feelings for too long, and now that the time seemed right she was not going to let herself run away. Neela had done that once before, and she paid the price for it everyday.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"Hey," Ray smiled as Neela walked into the break room.

"Hey," Neela replied, "How was your shift?"

"It was pretty interesting, actually. I got to see a guy with an axe stuck inside his skull." Ray had a gleam in his eye that Neela found very amusing.

Smiling, Neela grabbed her things out of her locker and motioned to the door, "Hmm, ice pick inside a skull I've seen, kitchen knife I've seen, but the axe is a new one."

The icy winter air brushed their faces as they stepped outside and began walking toward Neela's car. Neela's heart began pounding against her chest again, this time so loud that she thought Ray could hear it. Caught up in her worries, Neela didn't see the thick sheet of ice she was about to step on. With her next step her right foot slipped from underneath her, and just as she was about to land squarely on her bottom Ray reached his hands under her arms to catch her.

"Watch it there, Neela! Winter in Chicago is not the time to go daydreaming, I've learned that from experience," Ray wisely advised.

Neela felt like kicking herself for being so clumsy, but she realized how funny she must have looked after seeing the grin on Ray's face.

"Thanks, I'll remember that next time," Neela replied with an equally wide grin.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Neela started the car and immediately turned on the heater. While waiting for the windows to defrost, Ray told Neela about all the developments of the ER in the past few days. Neela had been out of the loop since moving up to surgery, and she couldn't help feeling a bit lonely without her friends around her.

As she pulled away from the curb, a familiar song came on the radio and both Ray and Neela fell silent.

_I had no choice but to hear you  
You stated your case time and again  
I thought about it  
_

"_You're the best friend I've ever had."_ Neela remembered the hurt in his eyes like it was yesterday. She stole a furtive glance toward Ray, but he was looking out the window. She had to make this right.

_You treat me like I'm a princess  
I'm not used to liking that  
You ask how my day was  
_

Ray had always been there for her, even when she didn't want him to be. She knew that all she had to do was ask, and there he was—the knight in shining armor—to be the friend she needed.

_You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault  
_

It was all his fault. If he hadn't asked her to be his roommate…if he hadn't cooked for her…if he hadn't offered her his shirt…then what? Neela knew it was no use thinking of all the 'if's. She had finally seen the person he truly was, and loved him more than anything for it.

_Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole  
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for  
That's not lip service  
_

Neela smiled as she thought of her, Ray, and Abby's intern days. Out of the three of them, Ray had changed the most. One day, Neela would tell him how proud she was of him.

_You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault  
_

It seemed like Ray was still gazing out of the window, but Neela could see that the corner of his eye was on her. She felt her stomach muscles tighten. The song took her back into her reverie.

_You are the bearer of unconditional things  
You held your breath and the door for me  
Thanks for your patience  
_

Ray had given her space after Michael's death, and she appreciated it more than anything. _"Stay the hell away from me"_ probably wasn't the best way to do it, though, and she intended to apologize for her words sooner rather than later.

_You're the best listener that I've ever met  
You're my best friend  
Best friend with benefits  
What took me so long_

He was her best friend—the guy who did whatever was in his power to brighten up her day, even if it meant watching Celebrity Poker Tournament with a girl who kept insisting on talking about her husband and war.

_I've never felt this healthy before  
I've never wanted something rational  
I am aware now  
I am aware now_

_Alright, this is it_, Neela thought. _It shouldn't be this hard_.

_You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your fault_

The song ended just as Neela pulled up to the side of Ray's apartment. It seemed that he had been in a reverie himself—Neela had to put her hand on his shoulder for him to snap out of it.

"Oh, uh sorry Neela, I was just…" Neela knew the phrase well—she'd struggled for some way to end the same sentence many times.

Neela looked straight into Ray's slightly dazed eyes and said, "There's something I need to say, Ray."


	2. Chapter 2

_Notes: Hi! This is Chapter 2 of "A Resolution"—hope you enjoy it! I'm writing this as I go along, so I'll try to update as soon as I can. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters, which is a shame because if I did I'd tell the writers that Ray and Neela need to be together. Period._

Neela had just finished saying, "There's something I need to say, Ray" when both she and Ray jumped at the shrill ring of Ray's phone.

"Could you hold on for one second, Neela?" Ray pleaded with a look that said, "_Sorry_," and flipped open his phone.

"Yeah, of course," Neela quickly replied, relieved but ill at ease at the same time.

She turned her face to look out the window, giving Ray the little privacy she could while sitting in her car. The phone conversation gave Neela a chance to reevaluate her situation (as if she hadn't been doing that enough lately). A recent and particularly dreadful exchange with Tony came to mind.

_I don't understand you, Neela—you can't seem to make up your mind about anything! I thought we had something._ Tony had been firing words at her as if they were bullets.

_I just don't think I can give you…I don't feel…_ Neela tried her best to explain, but the look on Tony's face slightly frightened her.

_Alright, fine Neela. I get it. Just don't come crying to me when Ray tells you he doesn't want to be with you._

Neela was stunned. She stared at Tony's frame as he stomped away, feeling as if he was stomping on her heart in the process.

Coming to terms with her relationship with Tony forced Neela to think about things that she had pushed away long ago. After many sleepless nights (and countless shots of tequila), she realized that Tony had been nothing more than a temporary solution to her loneliness. No more than a few days had gone by when Neela's loneliness came back to haunt her. At the time, she thought it was because she had not fully recovered from Michael's death, but after much introspection, Neela knew it was something much more. She felt it every time she looked at Ray, at the eyes that had meant what the lips had said: "_If there's anything you need…_" The warmth and compassion in his eyes had said it all—she just wished she'd seen it sooner. Neela needed to say so many things to him, but this she knew for sure—the first words he'd hear from her would be, "I love you." She didn't know how he would react or what he would say, or even if he would still want to be with her, but she had to say it. That's what she had thought at the moment, anyway.

Neela jolted back to reality. Ray was still on the phone—she could make out a smooth female voice on the other line, and her heart sank at the sound.

"Yeah, well I just got home, so I'll see you in about an hour. Oh, and Katey? Could you bring my green sweater, I think I left it at your place. Thanks." Ray stuck his phone back into his pocket and looked at Neela with a sheepish look.

"So, what did you want to tell me, Neela?" Ray's eyebrows furrowed and he had the familiar worried look on his face that Neela had seen so many times before. In fact, it seemed as if he had the same look on his face for the past year.

"Oh, um…" Neela didn't know what to do. The sound of Katey's voice had completely washed away her resolve. Her head throbbed, her heart felt heavy, and she couldn't stand to look into Ray's bright green eyes without feeling that she'd lost him.

"Neela?" Ray pleaded.

"You know…it can wait. And I don't want you to be late for your date—the El seems to take forever these days." Neela cringed at her lame attempt to change the subject.

"Are you sure?" Ray felt like he was missing something.

"Yeah, no it's fine. I'll just see you tomorrow then?" Neela tried to smile, but Ray could see through the attempt at bravery. He knew something was bothering her, but he also knew that if she didn't feel like talking, he couldn't force it out of her. It would have to wait.

"Okay, well I think we work the same shift, so just come find me."

"Sure."

"Thanks for the ride! You saved me ten frost-bitten fingers," Ray smiled as he stepped out of the car.

Neela returned the smile as she watched Ray's lean frame walk up to the apartment complex. The drive home was a particularly depressing one—she had angrily shut off the radio after hearing what seemed to be like every love song made in the history of mankind. _This is going to be a long night_, she thought glumly.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Ray looked across the table at Katey and smiled faintly, while Katey returned the favor with a kiss. They had been talking about work for the past hour—well, Katey had been talking about work while Ray stared at her blankly. No matter how hard he tried, Ray couldn't get the look on Neela's face out of his mind. She had been about to say something important, he could feel it, but what exactly that was, he couldn't say. What were Neela's eyes trying to tell him?

"You know, I think I enjoyed my surgical rotation the most but those surgeons and residents up there can be assholes. Well, except Neela and Dr. Dubenko." Katey thought she detected a flicker of…she didn't know what it was she saw on Ray's face. Sadness? Annoyance?

"Ray? You okay?" Katey had a hunch about what was bothering him, but she couldn't be sure.

"So I heard that Neela and Tony broke up a few weeks ago," Katey said cautiously, "He didn't take it too well, though."

And there it was. Katey knew Ray hadn't been listening to her, but at the mention of Neela he was all ears, even if he looked like he didn't want to be. Ray had a look of anguish on his face, as if he didn't know what to do or say. Breathing a small sigh, Katey did the only thing she could think of to do.

"Listen, Ray, I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Ray looked less stunned than she'd expected. "What…why?" As soon as he'd said it, he knew it was a stupid question to ask her. "Katey, I'm sorry if I've been…"

"No, Ray look, you don't have to apologize. You didn't mean this to be serious, and to be honest, I didn't either. You just do whatever you need to do." Katey gave Ray a weak smile as he continued to look stunned. Slowly, it began to sink in. Ray lacked the energy to protest, and could only manage to reply with a look of sheer exhaustion. She rose from the table, and placed a light kiss on Ray's cheek. As she handed him his green sweater, she said, "I had a lot of fun, Ray" and began walking toward the door.

Katey was long out the door before Ray roused himself from his seat and began the trek home. "_You do whatever you need to do_." The words resonated through his skull. What did he need to do? He honestly didn't know. What he did know was this: no matter how hard he tried, he could never stay angry at Neela for the pain she had caused him. All she had to do was smile and it seemed as if the stars shone just a little bit brighter. He and Neela had had a few heated outbursts, but it seemed that they always reverted to the banter of their "roomie" days within minutes. The immediate anger at seeing her with Tony had quickly turned into sadness, and now that Neela and Tony weren't together anymore, it was just plain confusion. Did he love her? _More than anything_. Was he willing to tell her that he loved her? _Yes, but she has to make the first move_. Ray had bared his soul once, and he didn't know if he could do it again without being certain that Neela felt the same way.

Ray's confusion gave way to mild acceptance—he would wait for Neela to say what he hoped she would say. The only question was, how long would he have to wait?


	3. Chapter 3

_Notes: Hi! This is Chapter 3 of "A Resolution." I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. Like I said, I'm writing this as I go along and midterms are coming up, so I'll do my best to update as soon as I can._

_Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of the characters on ER._

Neela had spent the night curled up on the couch with a blanket, quietly watching the rain until it finally lulled her to sleep. She didn't want to think about Ray, or Tony, (or Michael for that matter), and the only way she could calm herself was to stare out the window into the serene darkness.

An intense feeling of anxiety and dread filled the pit of Neela's stomach as she walked into County General. There was no telling what she would do if she saw Ray—cry, stare, accidentally walk into a wall, who knew? She didn't want to make a fool out of herself. For the first time since she began her surgical residency, Neela actually felt relieved that she wouldn't be around her friends in the ER. In fact, she may not even have to come down to the ER if Crenshaw magically assigned someone else to do consults! _Yeah, wishful thinking, _she chided herself.

Despite Neela's anxieties, the day seemed to pass by very quickly. She was able to scrub in on all of Dubenko's surgeries, allowing her to immerse herself in the minute details of the human anatomy without having to worry about her horrible lack of social skills. The end of her shift came sooner than she expected.

Neela had not forgotten that she was to babysit Joe tonight—in fact, she was really looking forward to it. "_We'll bond_," she had told Abby with a laugh. Walking down to the ER, Neela scanned the admit area before stepping into the doctor's lounge where she and Abby had scheduled to meet. The plan was for Neela to take Joe home with her at the end of her shift (Abby had brought him to work and the entire ER staff was taking turns watching him), and then for Luka to pick him up the next morning. She sat down in a corner of the lounge and prayed that Ray didn't see her walk in. He had told her to come find him during his shift, and she didn't know what to say if he asked her why she had not done so.

Neela was spared from her terrifying thoughts with the sound of Abby's footsteps through the door.

"Neela, I didn't even see you walk in," Abby said with a look of slight surprise on her face.

_Good_, Neela thought to herself. With a smile she said, "So, anything I need to know about Joe before we embark on our path together?"

"Well, he usually gets a bath before bed, and…he likes it if you sing him to sleep," Abby said cautiously.

Neela gave her a worried look. "…alright Abby, but if Joe comes home tomorrow with a look of supreme horror plastered on his face…it'll be your fault. My singing skills are…well…they're not exactly American Idol material."

Abby laughed while attempting to reassure Neela. "Oh come on, you can't be that bad."

"Want to bet?" Neela looked serious, only serving to further intensify Abby's amusement.

"Okay, so everything you need is in the bag—diapers, formula, extra change of clothes, wipes, baby shampoo…you have my number if you have any questions, and I wrote Luka's down for you in case mine doesn't get through." This was clearly Abby's first time leaving Joe with someone else for the night. "I feel like I'm forgetting something."

"We're going to be fine, Abby, don't worry," Neela reassured her friend.

"I know." Abby took a deep breath, and having temporarily calmed down, gave Neela a quick hug. "Thanks."

"Anytime," Neela smiled.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Neela and Joe were long out the door before Abby realized what she had forgotten: Joe's baby monitor. Having made the mistake of leaving it on the admit desk, she now heard Frank and Morris using the monitor as a walkie-talkie set.

"10-4, I've got a suspect…" Morris hadn't quite finished his "Cops" imitation before Abby yanked the baby monitor out of his hand. "Hey! I was practicing…"

Abby was panicking too much to properly reply to Morris. It was almost time for her to leave, and she struggled with whether she should drop the monitor off at Neela's apartment before going home to change. _I don't have time_, Abby thought while glancing at her watch. She knew she wouldn't stop worrying until she had dropped it off, but she also didn't want her and Luka's night to start off with her being late to dinner.

The first person to come into Abby's line of vision was Ray. _Ray!_ Abby thought. "Hey Ray, what time does your shift end?"

"Same time as yours, I think, why?" Ray didn't know what was going on.

"Could you do me a really big favor?" Abby went on to explain her predicament to Ray while he listened with a look of amusement.

"Yeah, okay…but you owe me!" Ray smiled as he put the baby monitor into his bag. Both he and Abby were out the door ten minutes later.

Chuckling, Ray called out "Have fun on your date!" and walked toward his car. He could feel the baby monitor in his bag poking him in the back. _And to think I used to be in a band_, he thought wryly.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"Now that feels a little bit better, doesn't it Joe?" Neela said as she finished changing his diaper and putting him back on the soft blanket she had laid on the floor. The toys Abby had packed in his diaper bag were strewn across the floor, and Joe went right back to attempting to grab five of them all at the same time, forcing a laugh out of Neela.

She went about getting dinner ready, and as she did so continued to talk to Joe and keep an eye on him. They discussed the wonders of poker and classical music, and each smile or gentle "_Joe_" from Neela elicited a giggle from the infant.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Ray walked up the stairs to Neela's apartment feeling a bit awkward that he was the one to drop off Joe's baby monitor. He could hear Neela's voice as he reached her door, but who was she talking to? The last string of words he heard were, "…now you, on the other hand, are listening patiently when I talk to you, you laugh when I say something funny, and you make me feel loved. What more could a girl ask for?" Ray's heart skipped a beat at the sound of Neela's laugh, and he smiled to himself.

The sound of the doorbell didn't seem to faze Joe—Neela carefully picked him up as she walked to the door. She was utterly surprised at the figure standing in front of her when she opened the door. Ray, on the other hand, couldn't keep his heart from pounding through his chest at the sight of the two of them—Neela holding little Joe in her arms, wide grins on both of their faces (they were clearly having a good time)—it killed him. Neela had never looked more beautiful to him.

"Ray…uh hi, how are you?" Neela said hesitantly.

"Hi Neela, I'm fine, I came to drop off Joe's baby monitor—Abby was in a rush and couldn't do it herself."

"Oh, okay…" Neela couldn't help but smile. She had attempted to avoid him all day, and now that he was standing in front of her, she couldn't imagine why. She knew in her soul that staying away would be impossible—maybe this was fate's way of bringing them a little bit closer.

"Um, listen, dinner's ready if you want to come in and eat with us?" Neela said rather quickly, revealing her nervousness.

Ray swallowed. "Yeah, uh that would be great." Neela let him inside, and Ray couldn't help but smile at the blanket and toys on the floor, and the enormous diaper bag in the corner of the room. "Looks like you've redecorated," he said lightly.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"Alright Joe, your choices are quite limited—sorry buddy. Your mum packed carrots and broccoli," Neela said as she held up both bottles of baby food. Joe seemed to make a face at just the right moment, causing both Ray and Neela to laugh at his comedic timing.

"Okay, we'll try to make this as painless as possible—carrots are sweet, broccoli isn't." Joe nodded ever so slightly. "And carrots it is," Neela declared.

Ray had set the table for the three of them and was dishing out the fettuccini alfredo Neela had made. Wondering how to feed him without a high chair, Neela managed to borrow her neighbor's for an hour.

It turned out to be one of the most memorable dinners Neela and Ray would ever have. Joe turned out to be quite a character—he managed to land a spoonful of mashed fruit right in the middle of Ray's forehead. Neela had never laughed so much in her life.

Ray looked across the table at Neela and he could hear the same pounding in his chest from when she first opened the door. He cleared his throat and said, "Thanks for dinner, Neela."

"Anytime." Neela meant it.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

As Neela began clearing the table, Ray took Joe out of the high chair and grabbing a towel, proceeded to burp him. Neela was surprised at the ease and comfort with which he did it, but decided not to ask any questions. Ray didn't talk about his family much and she didn't want to bring up any bad memories.

Having finished washing the dishes, Neela walked over to where Ray and Joe were hanging out on the floor. "Bath time couldn't come any sooner, huh?" she said, looking at the food stains on Joe's shirt. _And then I've got to clean up this mess_, she thought, still amazed at the amount of stuff Abby had been able to stick in the diaper bag. As if to read her mind, Ray suddenly said, "If you have things to do, Neela, I can give Joe a bath."

"Um, okay. You sure you don't mind?" Neela was amazed at her good fortune.

"No, we'll be fine, right buddy?" Joe smiled at Ray in agreement.

"Alright, well I should be done cleaning this place up by the time you're done. And I'll see you"—Neela tickled Joe—"later."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

The apartment was sparkling clean in no time. She didn't know if Joe drank milk before bed, so she had it ready just in case. Just as she was about to walk toward the bathroom, Ray walked out with Joe cuddled into a soft towel—the sight was enough to make Neela's heart melt.

"You want to take it from here, Neela? I'd probably put the shirt on backwards or something." Ray smiled sheepishly.

"Seeing as how you're an expert and all, I highly doubt that," Neela complimented Ray, "but I will gladly take him."

Ray didn't know what to do while Neela was busy getting Joe ready for bed, so he sat on the couch and stared out the window. _What a night_, he thought. _Ray Barnett…babysitting_—who would've thought! He and Neela had had their fun when they were roommates, but this was in a world of its own. And seeing Neela with Joe invoked feelings in him he didn't even think he had—feelings of fatherhood. _Don't be a butthead,_ Ray chided himself.

Ray could hear a soft voice coming from Neela's bedroom. _Is she trying to talk him to sleep, 'cause it's not gonna work_, he thought to himself. Walking closer to the door, he heard singing, but it took a few more verses before he could make out the song—it was "Goodnight Sweetheart." Ray's utter surprise was reflected on his face. He had never heard Neela sing before, and now that he had, it was beautiful. She always said that anyone who heard her singing would run out the door screaming, and Ray had believed her—now, he couldn't figure out _why_ he had believed her.

The singing slowed, and Ray quickly walked back toward the couch and sat down. No sooner was he seated than Neela quietly closed the door of her bedroom and tiptoed toward Ray with the baby monitor in hand.

"The little guy must've been pooped," Ray whispered.

"Yeah, it just took a few…uh…he fell right asleep after I put on his pajamas." Neela covered up the slip quickly. Ray wanted to call her on it, but decided that he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. If she wanted the world to think she couldn't sing, then so be it.

Ray and Neela both sat on the couch with their heads resting against the back of the seat—they didn't realize how tired they were until that moment. No other words were exchanged that night. Ray and Neela just sat on the couch, both happy to be in each other's company, until they dozed off to sleep less than an hour later.


	4. Chapter 4

_Notes: Hi! This is Chapter 4 of "A Resolution." Thank you to everyone who reviewed—I can't tell you how much it means to me that you took the time to do so. I hope you enjoy it!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own ER. Never have, never will. _

Neela startled awake at the faint sound of Joe's cries coming from the baby monitor. She and Ray had barely moved since they had fallen asleep on the couch the night before…except for the fact that Neela's head was now resting gently on Ray's shoulder and Ray's arm was around her shoulders in an effort to pull her tighter toward him. Both actions were instinctive. Carefully moving her head off of Ray's shoulder so as not to wake him, she repositioned her body in order to be able to get off the couch without falling flat on her face. As she did so the tender smell of baby shampoo filled Neela's senses, and her heart seemed to melt all over again at the memories of last night. She couldn't stop herself from gazing at Ray's figure on the couch, and inwardly laughed at herself. _I've fallen hard, haven't I?_ she thought with a smile. Neela made her way to the kitchen and grabbed a ready-made bottle from the refrigerator and walked toward her bedroom. No sooner had she reached Joe than he stopped crying, and with bottle in hand, Neela gently picked him up and cradled him in her arms.

"You're might hungry there, aren't you?" Neela whispered. Joe finished the bottle in a matter of minutes, and looked up at Neela with expectant eyes. She understood immediately. "Is 'Goodnight Sweetheart' okay, or do you want something different?" Not getting a reply (what sort of reply was she expecting from a 5-month old, anyway?) Neela began "Goodnight Sweetheart" for the second time that night. Less than two verses into the song, Joe's bright blue eyes slowly slid shut.

Ray felt cold. Forcing his eyes open, he looked over to where Neela had been beside him and immediately sensed a queasy feeling in his stomach. Not a moment too soon, the calm singing that had awed him the night before could be heard coming from Neela's bedroom. _Relax_, Ray chided himself, _she's just in the other room_. He fell back asleep less than five minutes later.

Having placed Joe gently on the bed, Neela tiptoed into the living room and couldn't help feeling eager to resume her warm spot next to Ray on the couch. She placed her head gently on Ray's shoulder, this time also managing to carefully slide both arms around his waist. Ray's arms automatically wrapped around her in response, and Neela's eyes grew heavy with sleep.

It was 3:30 when the baby monitor began to vibrate with the sound of Joe's cries again. Neela moved to stumble off the couch when Ray, in his groggy voice, said "I'll get him, Neela." Feeling too tired to protest, she mumbled "Thanks" and dozed off before Ray managed to actually get off the couch. Ray walked over to the refrigerator and took another bottle off the shelf. As he made his way toward Neela's room, he couldn't help but feel a bit awkward that this was going to be the first time he actually stepped inside. He and Neela had always respected each other's privacy when they were roommates, and it seemed that he was still in that mentality. Joe's cries ceased as soon as Ray stepped into the room, just as they had done four hours earlier with Neela.

Having fed Joe half the bottle, Ray proceeded to walk toward the window with the little guy in his arms. Without a thought, he began the first verse of the song that had seemed to become a tradition overnight. The second time around at "…well, it's time to go…" Ray could feel Joe's breathing become considerably slower. Laying him gently on the bed, Ray couldn't help but feel the same sense of peace that was reflected so clearly on Joe's face. He was about to leave the room when a picture on Neela's side table caught his eye.

The picture was from about two years ago, taken at a small gig Ray's band had played. Of all the shows he had invited Neela to, this was the first that she had actually attended—Ray remembered the feeling of utter surprise he had seeing her walk through the door. Making eye contact, she gave him a big smile and mouthed "Good Luck" as she stood in the middle of the crowd. That night had been one of their best gigs. After the show, Brett had insisted on taking pictures with "Dr. Neela," and ended up shooting tons of photos of the band. One of those pictures was sitting in his hand: Ray was smiling, standing with guitar in hand in the center of the stage, his body angled toward Neela while he was talking to her. Neela was standing across from him with her hands in her back pockets—she was in jeans and a t-shirt. She was gazing up at Ray with an equally bright smile on her face, listening intently. He knew every inch of that photograph.

Brett had given both him and Neela a copy of the picture at the time, and Ray just added it to the pile of photos he kept in a shoebox under the bed. One week later he placed it in a simple frame and sat it on top of his dresser. It had been there ever since. Neela did not seem overly enthusiastic about the picture then either—he didn't know what she had done with it. Now he knew…_she framed it and it's sitting next to her bed_. That had to mean _something_.

Ray's eyes drifted over to the bright red blinking of the clock on the table: _4:05_. He had to be at work in an hour, and he still needed to get home and shower. Carefully setting down the picture frame, Ray walked back into the living room and searched around for a piece of paper to write on. Having found a post-it pad, he quickly wrote:

_Neela,_

_Fed Joe at 4. Have to be at work by 5—sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. See you in a few hours._

_Ray_

And then, as an afterthought, he added:

_Thanks for dinner._

_Does that sound cheesy?_ He wondered. _I don't have time to worry about this_. Ray stuck the note on the table next to the baby monitor, grabbed his keys and jacket, and took one last look at Neela. She looked cold. Not knowing where to find a blanket, Ray impulsively draped his jacket over her curled up body and decided that if he didn't leave now, he probably never would. He walked to the door and closed it quietly behind him.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Neela was walking around the apartment with Joe on her hip, making sure that she had packed everything in Joe's diaper bag before Luka was due to arrive at 6. Having tucked the baby monitor inside the bulging pack, Neela grabbed some coffee and stood staring out the window. Joe seemed to sense her reflective mood, and almost instantly ceased making his usual baby noises.

_Ray…a father?_ Before last night, Neela couldn't even imagine having such a thought about Ray—the rock star—but seeing him with Joe made her believe that he would make a wonderful, caring one. She had been disappointed to find him gone when she awoke, but the warmth and aroma of his jacket, and the little note on the side table, had made her feel better. _I'll see him soon enough_, she thought.

The sound of the doorbell caused Neela to break away from her thoughts. As soon as Luka appeared in the doorway, Joe's arms and legs began flailing.

"Looks like he missed you!" Neela said laughing.

Luka took Joe into his arms. "Well, I've missed you, too. I hope you were good?"

"Oh he was perfect; we had lots of fun together." Neela couldn't help but smile at Joe clinging to his father.

"Abby told me about the baby monitor—Ray dropped it off?"

"Uh yeah, he ended up staying and babysitting with me." Neela didn't know what else to say—what else was there to say?

Luka looked delightfully amused. "I didn't know Ray was the babysitter type."

"Me either," she replied.

"Alright, well I'll see you at work in a couple of hours, Neela. Thanks again." Luka took Joe's diaper bag from her hand and proceeded to walk down the hall.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Ray had been in a good mood all morning, and no one in the ER could figure out why. Morris thought Ray had gotten 'lucky,' Sam thought he was going on vacation, and Frank thought he was on drugs. It wasn't until Neela walked in at 7—in an oddly similar and cheery mood—that they all knew something must have happened.

"I knew it!" Morris yelled at Ray.

"What?" Ray countered. Seeing the look on Morris' face, Ray said with an exasperated sigh, "For the last time, I didn't get 'lucky.' Why am I even talking about his?" He stalked off.

"Good morning!" Neela greeted everyone before walking off in the direction of the doctor's lounge. She had seen Ray walk into the lounge just as she stepped in the door.

Neela found Ray making a cup of coffee, and walked up to where he was standing.

"Hey," she said with a grin.

"Hey," he replied, fighting the urge to engulf her in his arms.

"I just wanted to say thank you again for last night. You were a big help."

Laughing, he said, "Yeah, I think I'm going to add it to my list of things to do on a Friday night." Switching to a more serious tone, he added, "I really had a lot of fun."

"Me too," Neela said softly. Reliving her thoughts from this morning, she added impulsively, "Um, can you wait for me after your shift? I still need to talk to you about something."

Remembering the night she gave him a ride home, Ray said, "Yeah sure. See you later, then." She had the same look in her eyes as that night, but this time, Ray had a slight feeling he knew what it was she meant to say. He had felt her arms slide around his waist last night on the couch.

_This can't wait any longer_, Neela thought. She couldn't help but feel excited and a bit nervous at the same time, and from Ray's expression, he was feeling the same.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Neela scrubbed in on just one surgery that day, and it turned out to be a disaster. A middle-aged woman—Mrs. Litvey—had come in with massive wounds in the torso region from having crashed into the center divider and flipped over several times. Her car had ended up in the opposite lane. The bleeding had been too severe to save her, despite the team's best efforts. This was the first surgery in which Dubenko had informally allowed Neela to take the lead, and consequently, she was now responsible for telling Mr. Litvey that he had lost the love of this life.

Neela walked slowly toward the waiting room, choosing her words carefully and rehearsing her speech in her mind. She had done this many times as an ER doctor, but speaking as a surgeon somehow seemed different. It was as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders—she was supposed to _fix_ people, not tell their loved ones that she _couldn't_.

He was seated on a chair, head in his hands, silent sobs coming from his hunched body. Neela took the seat next to him and paused briefly to take a deep breath before starting.

"Mr. Litvey?"

His tear-stained face seemed hard and inconsolable. _This is going to be harder than I thought_, she feared.

"Your wife…your wife's wounds were very severe, Mr. Litvey. We did our best to control the bleeding…but I'm afraid she didn't make it. I'm so incredibly sorry." Neela's voice dropped to a whisper as she looked into the man's deep eyes. What she saw in return slightly frightened her.

Mr. Litvey had been a grieving husband when she first sat down next to him; now, he was a man with a vengeance. The inhabitants of the waiting room stared wide-eyed as he proceeded to spit cruel words at her.

"You're sorry?! You…you're a doctor; you're supposed to…to fix things!" He yelled louder with every word. All Neela could do was stand with head bowed, feeling worse than she already did as he stood towering over her.

The man began sobbing as he slumped to the floor. Neela attempted to comfort him, but after being nastily rebuffed, she decided there was nothing else she could do and began walking slowly toward the doctor's lounge downstairs. She needed to pull herself together.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Pratt and Tony were standing at the admit desk when Neela walked down to the ER and proceeded to walk toward the doctor's lounge. Not losing a minute, Tony caught up with her just as she entered the doorway.

"Neela! I really need to talk to you." He sounded desperate.

"Um, can it wait? Now's honestly not a good time." She didn't want to relive the details of her encounter.

"Actually, it can't." After a pause and an exasperated look from Neela, he continued. He had not finished saying "I can't stop thinking about you," when Neela interrupted.

Ray needed to finish some charting and joined Pratt at admit soon after Tony darted after Neela. He had not seen Neela walk into the lounge, but from the position he and Pratt were standing in, both could see everything that now happened inside.

"No, Tony, please." She didn't like where this was going, and she wasn't willing to listen to any more of it. Her voice reflected her frustration and exhaustion all at once.

He came closer to where she was standing near her locker, and stood leaning over her with his hand against the wall. Neela felt incredibly uncomfortable. Her arms were folded across her chest, as if to protect herself from anything he might say.

"We had something, Neela. We can still have something." Before Neela could react, Tony moved in and placed a light kiss on her lips.

Ray's heart dropped.


	5. Chapter 5

_Notes: Hi! This is Chapter 5 of "A Resolution"—it's a bit short because I had originally planned to include it in the last chapter, but figured it would make Chapter 4 too long. So, hope you enjoy it, and thank you again to everyone who reviewed—you make my day._

_Disclaimer: I don't own ER. What a shame._

Ray could see Tony slowly lean in to kiss Neela, and he couldn't help but feel the urge to punch him. In a matter of moments, Ray's anger turned into frustration, and frustration turned into exhaustion. It was as if the life had been drained out of him. Instantly realizing that Pratt was standing right next to him, Ray quickly turned his gaze downward and ran his hand through his hair. He needed to get away before he did something stupid.

"Hey, uh you mind if I take a quick break?" Ray tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Pratt had seen it all—Neela's strained face, Tony's kiss, Ray's disappointment. "No, go ahead. We're good." Ray wasn't the only one feeling the urge to punch Gates, but Pratt felt annoyed at Neela's ignorance at the same time.

Without looking in the direction of the doctor's lounge, Ray began walking toward the ambulance bay. Reaching the pavement, he turned his gaze upward at the dark clouds forming in the late-night sky. It seemed to reflect his state of mind perfectly. Pulling his white coat around himself, he paced slowly toward the street.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

As soon as Tony's lips touched hers, Neela instinctively pulled away. Her unspoken irritation had quickly turned into boiling rage—she was going to be crystal clear this time.

"You still don't get it, do you? _I don't love you_. I don't want to be with you." Neela stressed every word as if speaking to a small child.

Tony smirked. "You're something, you know that? I moved out of Meg's apartment for you—do you know what that did to her and Sarah? And now you're going to tell me that it was all for nothing?! She died because of you."

"No, Tony…she died because of you." And with that, Neela grabbed the jacket hanging in her locker and slammed the door shut. She practically ran out the door, not knowing which sensation—that of intense fury or unbearable pain—would overpower her. The scent of the jacket hugging her body pushed the question out of her mind, and it seemed as if all had become clear. _I need to find Ray_. She had never felt such a sense of urgency in her life—it was overwhelming.

Neela reached Pratt at the admit desk in a matter of seconds. "Greg, have you seen Ray?" Pratt could see the fire in her eyes, and the annoyance he had felt earlier melted away.

"Yeah, he's outside."

"Thanks," Neela was rushing to get out the door when she heard Greg's voice over her shoulder, calling her name.

"Yeah?" She replied, needing to get out the door.

"He saw you."

Neela felt like the world was spinning. "What?"

"He saw you—Ray saw you and Tony."

Greg's words hit her like a slap in the face. _Crap_.

Neela ran. Stepping outside into the ambulance bay, she could make out Ray's figure walking slowly toward the street, arms folded across his chest.

She yelled louder than she thought was possible. "Ray! Ray, wait! I need to talk to you!"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

He couldn't turn around—it was too painful to look at her. That brief moment when Tony kissed Neela made him feel like the world's biggest idiot, knowing that he loved her more than anything in life and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. Ray had watched long enough to know that Neela didn't kiss him back, but somehow that didn't make him feel any better. He continued to walk.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Neela knew she had no right to blame Ray for not turning around, but it hurt like hell. _I'll just have to go after him then_, she thought. No sooner had the thought left her mind than she heard a piercing wail come from a hunched figure to her left, sitting in the shadows against the wall of the building. Taking a second look, she recognized the scruffy hair and the plaid shirt.

"Mr. Litvey?" Neela said quietly.

He turned his tear-strained face and bloodshot eyes toward Neela. The image evoked immense pity—and unexpected fear—in her.

"Mr. Litvey, what are you doing here? You should go home and get some rest." She made to rest a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" were the words he spat at her. "What good would that do? She's not there."

As Mr. Litvey brought his hands toward his face, the shiny metal of a hand gun caught her eye. Her heart began racing with the fear that a man in such a state would actually use it. _Okay, think Neela, think!_ She urged herself.

"Listen, I know what you're going through, Mr. Litvey. My husband died last year and I know how hard it is, I really do, but you'll get through it." Neela tried to sound as positive and encouraging as possible under the circumstances. She could feel her palms sweating.

Mr. Litvey looked at her with resentment and condescension. "How long were you married?"

"Six months." Neela knew what was coming as soon as she'd said it.

He let out a shrill laugh. "Six months? Lilly and I were married for _15 years_. You have _no idea_ what it's like." With the last few words, Mr. Litvey slowly moved to get off the bench. He was staggering.

I need to keep him talking, she thought with trepidation. "Okay, maybe we weren't married for as long as you and your wife were, but we really loved each other."

He sneered. "You don't know what love is." And with those words, he slowly raised the gun to his temple. Neela's eyes grew wide, and without so much as a thought she ran toward Mr. Litvey in an attempt to stop him.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Ray heard bits and pieces of the conversation while walking toward the street. He felt sorry for Mr. Litvey, but pity mixed with empathy as he imagined what it must be like to lose someone you loved so much. It was heartbreaking. Ray knew Neela had been about to run after him—he heard it in the way she called his name. _The least I can do is hear what she has to say_, he thought. He stuck his hands in his pockets and was about to turn around when he heard it: two gun shots, not more than 3 seconds apart. Ray turned just in time to see Neela's tiny form slump to the ground. "Neela!" Ray yelled in agony as he ran toward her.

Mr. Litvey shot Neela just as she was about to reach for his arm, and then turned the gun on himself. He now lay in a pool of blood, eyes closed and a look of tranquility on his face. Neela weakly clutched her abdomen as she lay on the pavement, knowing she needed to get up but not finding the strength to do so. Ray reached her just as her eyelids began pulling downward. Neela forced her eyes open and managed a soft "Ray" before he set to work pulling off her jacket—actually his jacket, he thought mournfully—and attempting to find where the bullet had pierced her skin. Pratt and Abby had run outside at the sound of the gun shots and at the sight of Neela and Mr. Litvey, ran back inside to get a gurney.

Neela's thoughts turned to Michael. _Is this what he felt like when he lay there dying?_

_Was he thinking, "I wish I could tell Neela how much I love her?"_ It was painful to imagine, and she didn't want to relive the scenario a second-time around. She didn't want to think, _"I wish I could tell Ray how much I love him."_ He was right there, kneeling over her. _I _can_ tell him_.

"Ray?" she managed almost in a whisper.

"Neela, the bullet seems to be lodged somewhere in your stomach. Pratt's coming with a gurney, and Abby's notifying surgery. Just hang in there, okay?" The intensity of his eyes said it all.

Neela talked through intermittent gasps of breath. "Ray…I've been…trying to tell you that I…" Ray saw a tiny tear escape the corner of her eye as he moved to cradle her head in his arms.

"I…I love you, Ray…more than anything." The tears now streamed freely down Ray's face as he closed his eyes. He had waited so long to hear those words, and now that he finally had, the thought that he might actually lose Neela polluted his mind. Ray thought of Mr. Litvey, and he finally _understood_.

Abby and Greg arrived with the gurney just as Neela's eyes slowly slid shut.


	6. Chapter 6

_Notes: Hi! This is Chapter 6 of "A Resolution" (and most likely the last chapter). Since I started with a songfic, I thought it would be fitting to end with one. For all of you who have read this or reviewed, thank you tremendously. I've said it before but I think it's worth mentioning again: you make my day. I sincerely hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have._

_Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own ER. And although I love "At Last" and Etta James, I don't own them either._

"Neela! Stay with me, Neela," Ray gasped desperately. He and Greg had managed to get her on the gurney just as her eyes began to close, and Ray was now franticly administering CPR as Abby and Pratt steered them both into the trauma room. "Morris! Tell surgery to get down here NOW!" Abby yelled with all the force she could muster. There was incredible fear in her heart, but she knew this was not the time to fall to pieces.

"Wha…is that Neela?" Morris breathed almost in a whisper. Not waiting for an answer, he bolted for the stairs—he knew the only way surgery would respond to a page was if they were physically dragged down to the ER. Sure enough not more than 2 minutes later, Dubenko was rushing down the hall with the same intense and worried look that was on the face of the entire ER staff.

Pratt had taken over doing CPR, and Ray was too shaken to be of any use to the other doctors. He was standing in the corner running his fingers through his hair when Dubenko nearly broke the trauma door off its hinges and began bombarding Abby with questions about what happened. He did a quick assessment and, as calmly as he could, matter-of-factly stated, "We can't move her up to the surgery until she's stable." They had been doing CPR for five minutes without a single sign from Neela's body that it was fighting to stay alive.

Ray turned toward the wall and placed a hand above his head as the tears streamed down his strained face. This wasn't how it was supposed to end—she just told him she loved him. He slowly walked toward Neela's tiny form on the gurney. Placing a light kiss on her forehead, he held her hand and whispered in her ear:_ Don't leave me here like this, Neela. I love you, too. _ Just as the overwhelming pain in his chest forced him to close his eyes, Ray heard Morris call out, "Sinus rhythm! Wow I don't know what you said to her, Barnett, but it worked." Abby's tear-stained face beamed at Ray.

"Alright, let's get her up to the OR before she goes back down," Dubenko added.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

The best words Ray ever heard in his life were "She's going to be okay." He had spent seven hours pacing in the observation room above the OR—he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, and he sure as hell didn't plan on going home. Neela would be sedated for the next few days and he planned on being there when she woke up.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Neela awoke to the sound of buzzing by her ear. _That's odd_, she thought, but before the words could form on her lips, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach and realized where she was and why. She let out a low groan, and just as she did so, Ray's head popped into view as he stood over her. He had been in the corner chair, coffee cup in hand, making sure not to doze off.

"Hey," she managed while wincing with pain.

"Hey," he beamed.

"Sorry for getting your jacket all bloody." Neela smiled sheepishly at him.

"Yeah well, you owe me another one," Ray reciprocated.

Neela giggled and subsequently cringed with pain. "Maybe I shouldn't do that for a little while," she said mournfully.

Ray pulled up his chair and reached for her hand and held it in his. He had rehearsed this speech a dozen times over the past few days, and he intended to get it right.

"Neela, when you…when you were lying on that pavement…" he began as Neela listened attentively. He knew he would make a fool out of himself if he looked at her, so he stared out the window instead. "…at that moment, I just felt empty. I couldn't imagine life without you…you know, without seeing you at work, or without cracking some joke about the guy who had the worst case of diarrhea we'd ever seen, or…just without _you_."

Neela didn't have to say anything—the warmth of her smile, and the slight squeeze she gave Ray's hand said it all.

The rest of Neela's hospital days were spent in a constant stream of visitors from the ER—Luka and Abby continually brought her tubs of her favorite ice cream, Sam checked in every thirty minutes to make sure she was comfortable, and Morris' visits always ended in laughter (she was beginning to count him as a true friend). Even Tony showed up with flowers, an apology, and a handshake. But it was Ray's visits that really brightened her mood every day; just hearing his voice was enough to make her feel that everything was going to be okay.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Pratt was wheeling Neela away from the door of the hospital when Ray ran up to the two of them with his bag over his shoulder. "I can take it from here," he motioned to Greg. Greg smiled and winked at Ray, "Right, well I'll see you in a few weeks, Neela." He put a gentle hand on her shoulder before walking back to the ER.

Neela's mind turned to the recent conversation she'd had with Ray about finally being discharged.

"_Ray, I'm going to be fine. It's not a big deal." Neela understood he was worried, but she was strong enough to take care of herself._

"_Look Neela, you can't walk 20 steps without taking a break. What happens if you collapse one day and there's no one to help you?" He had an anxious look on his face._

"_I think I should come with you," Ray said matter-of-factly._

"_Ray…"_

"_Neela!" Ray's eyes and the force with which he said her name reflected the intensity of his plea._

"_Alright," she conceded. _

Neela pulled back to reality at the touch of Ray's hand on her back. "Everything okay?" Ray looked into her eyes and saw nothing but warmth. "Everything's fine," she replied.

They had decided that Ray would stay with her for a week—just long enough to get firmly on her own two feet before heading back to work. At Abby's constant nagging, Luka gave in and give him the week off, for which both Neela and Ray were grateful.

The car ride to her apartment gave Neela some time to dwell on the events of the past week, and she found herself thinking about her life as if she had already lived it. All of the dilemmas she'd faced, all of the things that had clouded her judgment in the past seemed to have simply disappeared. She knew that Ray was the man who had saved her life twice, once emotionally and this time physically, and what she felt for him was beyond explanation.

"Neela? Neela, we're here." Ray gently placed a hand on her shoulder and then proceeded to get out of the car and open her door. He intended to carry her up the stairs, and gingerly grabbed for her legs.

"Oh Ray, honestly, I can walk…watch." Neela took no more than three steps before nearly falling flat on her face on the concrete—Ray caught her just in time.

"Yeah, nice one," he said sarcastically but with a smile. Closing the car door, he took Neela into his arms and proceeded to walk toward the apartment building.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Beside the intense pain Neela felt for her first few days home, the week went by enjoyably and rather quickly. She gave up trying to do things by herself after getting frustrated to her wits end, and resigned herself to having to rely on Ray for the little things she had taken for granted. _How pathetic is it that I can't even bend over to tie my own shoes?_ she had thought grimly. But Ray showed no sign of weariness and was at her side at the slightest indication of needing a hand. He cooked and he cleaned, he slept on the lumpy couch and through it all, Neela saw no less than a smile on his face.

Their one-week existence turned into a routine that would be hard to break when the time came to do so. They would stay up late into the night watching TV, or Neela would lie on the couch with a book while Ray sat at her feet with pencil in hand and sheets of music spread out all over the floor, trying to perfect a song he had just written. It was pure bliss.

It was the night before Ray was due back to work, and Neela couldn't help but feel empty at the thought that he was leaving. She had regained the strength in her legs and was now functioning almost normally, but Ray still tended to be cautious. _I think it's about time I cooked dinner,_ she thought with a smile, _and it's going to be a special one._ He had gone out to get groceries and wouldn't be back for at least another hour, giving her just about enough time to get everything in order.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Ray could smell the aroma from the hallway. Stepping into the doorway, he was amazed at the dramatic change that had come over the apartment. A warm light bathed the apartment and the dinner table was elaborately set for two, while an old Etta James record was playing in the background. Just as he set the bag of groceries in the kitchen, Neela walked out of her room in black pants and a soft white sweater. She was glowing.

"Neela, you cooked? How are you feeling?" Ray couldn't hide the anxious inflection in his voice.

"I'm fine, Ray, really," Neela reassured him. She placed a light kiss on his cheek. "Want to have dinner?" she added.

Ray couldn't help but smile at her eagerness—it was cute. Laughing, he said, "That all depends—do you cook better than you bake? Cause those cookies you made last year were…well, you know…"

Neela gave him a look and while dishing out the food onto their plates said, " 'The worst cookies in the history of baking' I think it was you said."

"Did I say that?" Ray didn't want to admit it.

"Yes, you did. But to be honest, I tried one of those cookies the next day and I nearly…well, let's just say my stomach knows what my mind doesn't. They really were terrible," she laughed. Ray took a bite of his dinner and was pleasantly surprised.

"This is really good, Neela," he complimented her. She grinned back.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Ray and Neela were still at the dinner table, wine glasses in hand, when one of Neela's favorite songs began to play on the record-player. Her taste in music was the complete opposite of Ray's, but the two of them were close enough to appreciate the beauty in both. The music washed over Neela, and she couldn't help but gaze over at Ray, who sensed the same feeling of bliss at that moment.

Ray stood from the table and gently took Neela's hand in his as he pulled her closer toward him. Neela pressed her head against his chest as they slowly swayed to the smooth rhythm.

_At last  
my love has come along  
my lonely days are over  
and life is like a song_

_Ooh At last  
the skies above are blue  
my heart was wrapped up in clovers  
the night I looked at you_

I found a dream  
that I could speak to  
a dream that I could call my own  
I found a thrill  
to press my cheek to  
a thrill that I have never known

Neela softly sang the last verse, and it was just loud enough so that Ray heard her voice.

_You smiled  
you smiled  
oh and then the spell was cast  
and here we are in heaven  
for you are mine at last  
_

The song ended, but neither of them wanted to pull away. Neela's head was still gently resting on his chest when she said, "Ray? You're coming over tomorrow after your shift, right?"

"Yeah." He didn't think he could go a day without seeing her.

She turned her face up to meet his gaze and said, "Maybe you should bring your stuff. I could use a roommate."


	7. Epilogue

_Notes: Hi! This is the Epilogue of "A Resolution"—I hope it fulfills the wishes of all of those who asked for one! Thank you again to everyone who has read this, and especially those who have reviewed. You rock. _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing even remotely related to ER._

Ray groaned at the sound of the alarm clock and pulled the sheets over his head in an attempt to drown out the shrill noise. Gingerly reaching his hand out from underneath the covers he pressed the snooze button, and in the process grabbed Neela's still-warm pillow, fully intending to go back to sleep. Not more than 5 minutes later, Neela softly walked into the bedroom and smiling inwardly, proceeded to gently remove the sheets covering Ray's head and place a light kiss on his cheek. It took five more kisses in succession to get Ray to stir from his spot.

"Good morning," Neela declared. She had been up for a while now.

"Hmmmhmm," was Ray's response.

He usually got out of bed a few minutes after Neela would wake him in the morning, so she proceeded to go back into the kitchen and get breakfast ready. Today, however, she went through the routine with a heavy heart. Ray was leaving after work to visit Brett and his former band mates in California for a week, and Neela was supposed to go with him. Unfortunately, Crenshaw and Dubenko had made her decision for her: there was no way she was going. She and Ray had been inseparable for almost a year now, and this trip was going to be tough on her. Neela kept telling herself that he would have a great time seeing his friends—and she was happy he was going—but he hadn't even left yet and she felt lonely already.

Neela had just finished setting Ray's bags by the door, when he came out of the bathroom freshly-showered and dressed. He had a slight feeling of anxiety despite being excited about seeing his friends after so long, and he knew it was because of Neela—he knew it was stupid and that she could take care of herself, but he still felt uneasy leaving her for a week. And that didn't even account for the full extent of his anxiety—the fact that he wouldn't see her face or hear her voice for the next seven days killed him more than anything.

Ray walked into the bedroom to make sure he didn't forget to pack anything important. Finding nothing, he went into the kitchen to find Neela sitting at the table, her hand propping up her chin while she stared out of the window. Feeling his uneasiness grow worse, he walked over to where she was sitting and gently kissed the top of her head.

Quickly wiping the look of gloom off her face, Neela looked up and cheerfully chimed, "Hey, ready for breakfast? I put your bags by the door so we can stick them in my car. I can get you to the train station in time if we leave fifteen minutes before our shifts end."

_She's rambling_, Ray thought mirthfully. Neela always rambled when she was nervous or anxious, and it gave her feelings away every time. She slowed down just in time to add, "Are you sure you've got everything packed?"

"Yeah, I think so," Ray replied. "It's a shame you don't fit into a suitcase, though."

Neela smiled. "What about your guitar? Maybe you should take that with you, you know for old times' sake. I'm sure they'll have a few jam sessions while you're visiting."

Ray looked at her thoughtfully and said, "I hadn't thought of that, that's a good idea." He walked to the corner of the room where his electric guitar was standing upright on its stand, and put it gingerly into its case. After placing it next to his bags by the door, he and Neela sat down to breakfast together.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

The day seemed to pass by more quickly than usual, as if to steal away the time Ray and Neela had together on purpose. Neela couldn't focus on any of her work, and she kept looking at her watch every few minutes to count how much time was left until she had to drop Ray at the train station. Every once in a while a grin would run across her face as she thought about Ray's fear of airplanes—_who takes a train from Chicago to California, anyway?_ As for Ray, he attempted to keep Neela out of his mind as much as possible by throwing himself into his work and his patients, but no matter how hard he tried, she always crept back into his consciousness. He couldn't stand it anymore and decided to go up to surgery to see her.

Neela was standing near the computer with a large pile of papers in front of her, eyebrows furrowed and a look of intense exasperation on her face; she was clearly frustrated with the amount of work she had been given, none of which involved actual surgery. Ray slowly came up behind her and swung his arms around her middle, placing his head on her shoulder and giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. The warmth that flowed through Neela's body seemed to melt away all of her frustrations.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she said smiling, and returned the favor with an equally soft kiss on his cheek.

"Do you have time for a break? Maybe we could go to Ike's for little bit," Ray suggested.

"After all this," she said while waving her hands at the mountain of paper, "I think I deserve one."

They walked out hand-in-hand, Ray pulling Neela closer to him as the gush of wind hit their faces. The same thought ran through both of their minds: _why is it so hard to be apart for such a short period of time?_ It was like they were two halves of a whole—incomplete without the other. Ray would be getting on the train in less than a few hours, but they would spend as much time as possible together until then. If that meant spending an hour at Ike's, so be it.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"Alright Ms. Richardson, we're going to be admitting you for observation for a few days to make sure you don't develop any serious symptoms, but if all goes well you should be able to go home by Wednesday," Neela calmly explained to the worried young woman. She gave Abby a weak smile before turning to leave, but Abby managed to catch up with her as she was walking toward the stairs.

"Neela!" she yelled.

"Yeah?" Neela replied, turning to face her friend.

"Is everything okay?" Abby hadn't failed to notice Neela's forlorn face every time she came down to the ER for a surgical consult, and although Neela was doing her best to hide her feelings, it was abundantly clear that she was not having a good day.

"Uh yeah, everything's fine Abby, thanks," Neela rambled. Abby and Neela had been friends long enough for Abby to know what it meant when Neela rambled.

"Are you sure?" she tried again.

Neela looked hesitant. She didn't want Abby to think she was completely pathetic for being sad that Ray was leaving for a week—but somehow Neela felt that she would understand.

"It's just…well, Ray's leaving for California for a week and I feel like crap," Neela looked at Abby sheepishly.

Abby smiled—she knew the feeling. "I know it's hard, Neela, but he'll be back before you know it," she said while gently placing a hand on Neela's shoulder.

"Do you feel like this when Luka goes somewhere?" Neela asked.

Abby smirked. "Well, let's just say he's stopped going anywhere without me."

Neela felt a little better knowing she wasn't completely insane. She gave Abby a quick hug, and taking a deep breath, resigned herself to the loneliness that came with being in complete and utter love.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Neela walked down to the ER with butterflies in her stomach. Seeing Ray at the admit desk made it worse; he was saying goodbye to everyone.

"I can't believe Neela's not going with you—you two are like joined at the hip," Morris declared.

Ray looked miserable. "Yeah, Crenshaw and Dubenko wouldn't give her time off."

Neela walked up to the group, not aware of their conversation. She had given up trying to look cheerful hours ago.

"So umm, you ready to go?" she said, not braving to look into Ray's bright green eyes.

He didn't look at her either. "I'm all set."

Not saying another word, they walked arm-in-arm to Neela's car. Ray and Neela spent the thirty-minute drive in silence—any words spoken would ultimately reveal the desolation they both felt, and neither of them wanted to make this any more difficult than it already was.

They reached the train station right on time, and Ray proceeded to unload his bags from Neela's car. It was a powerfully cold Chicago day, and they both struggled to keep themselves from shaking against the strong gusts of wind. All Neela could do was gaze at Ray's form pulling the luggage out of the trunk, fighting the urge to tell him to put it back inside. _It's going to be okay_, she consoled herself.

The train attendants loaded all of the passengers' bags onto the train and began to blow the whistle to signal the departure of the train in five minutes' time. Ray slowly turned to Neela and couldn't get any words to come out of his mouth.

Neela made the first move. "Umm, well tell Brett and the guys that I said hi and that I really wanted to come see them but my bloody bosses wouldn't let me. And call me when you get there, okay?" There was the rambling again.

Ray leaned toward Neela and silenced her with a deep kiss. He simply said, "I will." Giving Neela a longing look, he added, "Take care of yourself."

"Have a good time, Ray." She emphasized this with an attempt to sound cheerful.

It seemed that neither of them could gather the will to leave. After engulfing Neela in his arms one last time, Ray walked toward the train as the last whistle blew loudly. He stood standing in the open doorway, looking at Neela's tiny frame shivering in the cold. He knew she wouldn't leave until the train pulled away and she couldn't see it in the distance any longer, despite the fact that it was minus ten degrees. A sensation of pure adoration swept through him.

Neela made eye contact with Ray from where she was standing, huddled in her jacket and shaking to the bone, and mouthed the words "I love you" clearly enough for him to understand. Ray reciprocated with a grin and a hand over his heart—Neela's own heart melted.

The train was beginning to move slowly, and it seemed like the thought that he wouldn't see Neela hit Ray for the first time. She was still standing there, hair blowing in the wind, a look of forlorn anguish on her face. Replaying her silent "I love you" in his mind, Ray made a spur-of-the-moment decision.

Sticking half of his body out of the train, Ray yelled as loud as he could, "Marry me, Neela!"

Neela couldn't believe her ears. She was laughing, her face beaming at the man who had become her life. Without hesitation, she yelled back, "Yes!"


End file.
